About whales
September 6, 2011
Stranded
Huge rubber torpedoes loose themselves onto shore;
a giant’s speed-humps beached. Incomprehensible,
these commas in a language no-one knows to speak.
Like sheep they follow each other, but no canny dog
can turn them, head them back to deep supporting sea.
Victims of gravity, bulk weighs them down,
and spread of sand becomes a massy grave.
That short word why grows in watchers’ minds,
pressing like the bodies on that fatal beach.
No answer comes. We water them like giant bulbs,
and strain to plant them back in bed of ocean.
But sometimes there can be just too much coast.
Unseen sirens called them, and some turned back
to dire, heavy death. Lapped by waves,
gentle as a fading memory, what do whales see
in that final surge, before their spirits swim away?
P.S. Cottier
PS Cottier 
Very well written. I love the insightfulness with which you describe this scene. You went deeper, past what the eye can see and made me think and ask questions. Would you please read a poem or two of mine and give me some suggestions?
Brian,
I am so glad you enjoyed the poem.
As to your request, I am afraid that I am not the right person. I am currently extremely busy, and also tend to avoid poetry workshops myself, so I am unlikely to have anything useful to give you in this context. There are many ‘on-line’ workshops, but be aware that if you seek publication elsewhere, after participation, some journals regard publication in a workshop site as precluding the poem from consideration. (Not all, check the guidelines.) Best of luck with your writing, and sorry if this sounds unhelpful, particularly after your positive comments.
Penelope
That is helpful, thanks. But does wordpress count as a workshop site?
If you mean poems published on a wordpress blog, such as mine, where there is open access, then they would definitely be regarded as published by all journal editors that I know of. Personally, I only put poems here that I do not wish to send elsewhere, or that are already published in a journal etc.
There would be sites where you have to sign in, so items can only be seen by other subscribers who can then provide feedback, and poems on these are less likely to be seen as published, but some editors would still regard them as such.